The story: Burson spearheaded a campaign to spread rumors and innuendo that Social Circle, an obscure feature of GMail, secretly gathers user info and thus represents a violation of privacy and of Federal Trade Commission rules.

The source: an “anonymous” client.

The timing: Perfect — amid Congressional hearings on mobile location tracking features and other perceived threats to privacy.

The perps: former CNBC news anchor Jim Goldman and former political columnist John Mercurio, newly hired by Burson.

What went wrong, Part 1: The story on Social Circle was completely made up and Mercurio pitched somebody who could figure that out quickly. He approached former FTC blogger Christopher Soghoian, offering to ghost and place a negative op ed on Social Circle. Soghoian outed Mercurio, posting the latter’s email pitch widely on the Internet.

What went wrong, Part 2: Goldman pitched the wrong newspaper, USA Today, at the wrong time — as colleague Mercurio’s fiasco with Soghoian went viral.

What went wrong, Part 3: USA Today outed Burson and Goldman in a major national story on the agency’s whisper campaign boondoggle.

Why I call this story “kind” — the very gentle way in which USA Today described the denouement:

After Goldman’s pitch proved largely untrue, he subsequently declined USA TODAY’s requests for comment.

In other words:

After the chief PR guys were caught lying.

After Burson’s whisper campaign was exposed as a hoax.

Curiously, Burson’s execrable conduct was a footnote in the USA Today story, which focused on Web and mobile privacy issues and the comparative harmlessness of Google’s Social Circle. Nobody spanked Goldman or Mercurio in that article. In a peculiar lapse, the reporters failed to even ask the identity of the mysterious “anonymous client” behind the whisper campaign. Burson and its client got off easy.

Not everybody was as nice as the folks at USA Today.  In a story headlined, “BUSTED: Former CNBC Tech Reporter Jim Goldman Caught Spreading Lies,” Business Insider opens up slamming “the latest chapter in big PR sleaze.”  We’ll likely see similar coverage pile up in the coming hours. Which made me wonder how the folks at Burson are handling this imbroglio.

I’m on Bursting’s home page now. The first thing I notice is a big banner proclaiming “Burson-Marstellar: Evidence-Based Communications.” Oops.

I don’t see any blog posts or media statements acknowledging and apologizing for the whisper campaign. Perhaps, like a lot of companies that get caught in a crisis, they’re hoping the whole thing will blow over — a curious response for a Top 10 PR firm that counsels others on how to handle crises.

Up top there’s a link to Burson’s “Global Crisis Contacts.”  I’ll try to call one of them later and offer our crisis PR support. Maybe they need help.

To companies everywhere: Never take the foolish risk of running a “whisper campaign.”  In the Internet era you will most certainly get caught. Over the next few days we’ll no doubt learn the identity of the anonymous client that hired Burson. The irony: They didn’t hurt Google — they helped Google.

Weird footnote: What if Google itself turns out to be mysterious source of the mysterious whisper campaign?  You know, so they could look like a victim as they head into a tough Congressional hearing on Android’s heat-seeking human location capabilities?  Naw, that just couldn’t be.  That would be taking conspiracy theories to a truly ridiculous level. I guess.  But just to be safe, “Psst — spread the word — when I said Burson’s story was a hoax, I was only kidding.”

On any given day we’re contacted by clients who need immediate turnaround on a tech blog, article, brochure or video script. Might be for a web site, trade pub or trade show venue ranging from TMForum to Europe’s Cable Congress. No matter and no big deal when a writer knows what he/she is doing.

To be sure that’s the case, here’s what to look for:

• Knowledge of the Business. There is no substitute for experience. If you work in the network, operations, back office, IT, policy, product marketing, or engineering side of telecom, always pick a writer with matching expertise. In the telecom sector, there’s no time for learning curves. You need a knowledgeable writer who can churn out great copy, quickly.
• Paranormal Relations with Alien Beings. Newsflash: The guys who create network schematics and talk about “the cloud” for a living are alien beings who walk among us disguised as normal people. Between themselves they converse in clicks, blinks and nods with full comprehension. Communicating with earthlings, however, is not so easy. Good tech writers breach the gap with the innate ability to intuit from a software flow chart exactly what the engineer wants conveyed to a general audience.
• Journalistic Discipline.  Just as there’s no such thing as a “former Marine,” there is no such thing as an ex-journalist. The habits learned as a reporter stay with the writer for a lifetime: precision, accuracy, honesty, thoroughness and respect for the word “deadline.”
• Analogous Intellect. Analogy — the ability to see things in a fresh way via comparisons, metaphors, similes, parables and other stories — has been called the basis of cognition. It is most certainly the foundation of all great writing, particularly in the tech arena.  Good tech writers are diverse. They apply the range of their experience to the content they create. When words jump off the page, chances are that the writer has subtly breathed art, music, poetry, travel, mount climbing, timber racing and God knows what else he or she has lived, into every syllable.  Just because a subject is technical doesn’t mean it has to be dry and boring.  A great writer can bring it to life.

Many writers hate the pace of tech and telecom, where every need is urgent, results are expected yesterday and outcomes are expressed — ridiculous as it may seem — in near life or death terms. “Why didn’t I pick a mature, dying industry like coal or shoe leather?” a colleague once joked. No doubt about it, working here attracts a special breed of writer: the kind who might see SWAT team work as a fun, relaxing vocation.

Fortune’s

Disclaimer #1: I’m an ex-Bell head — I worked for NYNEX PR when Seidenberg headed regulatory affairs in Washington, D.C. Thus I was, though at a distant remove, under his supervision.

Disclaimer #2: Since then I’ve crossed swords with Verizon a few times on the policy front, representing clients in the competitive broadband sector. No hard feelings, Ivan.

That stuff out of the way, here’s my unbiased appraisal of Verizon’s social media and pr online.

Verizon’s Social Media

Wow. Talk about diverse: Verizon has a blog for nearly every corner of the marketplace, plus one for policy wonks. Each author speaks in his or her own voice, which makes the experience natural and engaging — quite a departure from the usual corporate-speak of many other companies’ blogs. Some Verizon blogs are fun, others serious, all are authoritative.

I was struck by how Verizon loves videos, particularly on the wireless side of the house. Videos, in fact, are the one place that C-level execs appear. Which raises a caveat: I couldn’t find any “view from the top” blogs by senior management, which is a pity. Maybe they’ll get to that one day.

But aside from that nit, Verizon’s social media program is as complete as they come. Take a peek.

How Verizon’s Social Media is Set Up

• Structure. Verizon offers blogs by business line (residential, small business, medium business, wireless) and special interest (policy).  Nothing for large commercial accounts, though. Here Verizon may be like other companies that aren’t on-board yet with B2B social media.
• Organization. Most blogs are neatly cataloged on one “home” blog page – “Verizon Forums and Blogs.”
• Navigability. Finding that page is another matter. It’s easier Googling “Verizon Forums and Blogs” than trying to find them on Verizon.
• “Authors.” Bloggers are largely members of the PR and policy teams, with the occasional FiOS product development director or high-profile guest blogger thrown in.  Some blogs feature posts by VP-level execs, which is a nice touch.
• Content. First rate. Rich on detail, well-informed, professionally written and, for the most part, frequently updated.
• Variety. Amazingly diverse. Okay, some content is blatantly promotional, but that’s to be expected in the corporate realm. Overall, there’s a lot of useful info here across a wide assortment of topics.
• Video. Depending on the business line, there’s a ton of it, e.g., 60+videos for Verizon Wireless alone.  Some of it is standard stuff like the COO touting Verizon’s pending 4G network, at CTIA. But there are useful tutorials on LTE and other mobile tech topics.

A thumbnail of the Verizon blogs I sampled:

Main Verizon Blogs

• Verizon at Home — Awesome. If it were a book, it would be the one you couldn’t put down. Essentially it’s the “all-FiOS-all the time” channel. Guest posts by outside experts add authenticity.
• Medium Business Blog — A deep dive into topics of interest to this crowd, ranging from cloud computing to network security, disaster recovery and telecommuting. A tad light on frequency (the last post was mid-September).
• Small Biz Blog — Excellent resource on tips for SMBs, albeit with a heavy slant on using Verizon products. Includes a concise weekly recap of news stories relevant to the niche. Occasionally showcases VP level authors, providing the “big picture” on SMB issues.
• Community Beat – The most popular Verizon blog, judging by the number of comments, this blog uses Lithium technology to engage visitor interaction. Customers can comment on what they like/don’t like about their Verizon service. Also features “how to” pieces and customer profiles.
• Responsibility Blog — This is where Verizon showcases its good citizenship. Ethnic diversity, environmentalism, etc., etc. A bit of overlap with their policy blog (read on).

Out There Somewhere Else

• PolicyBlog – How does Verizon really feel about net neutrality? That nugget is mysteriously absent from the main blog page. But you’ll hear plenty at Verizon’s policy blog if you can find it (Google “Verizon Policy Blog” to get there), plus their views on broadband stimulus, cybersecurity and other issues. Whether or not you agree with Verizon’s point-of-view, it’s well articulated here.
• Wireless New Product and Services Blog. This blog lives separately on the Verizon Wireless site. It’s really brochure-ware heavy on nitty-gritty product features, not a blog in the true sense, and it’s only sporadically updated, probably because it’s confined to info on new product/service launches.

Other Interesting Stuff Online at Verizon

• Listening in. Verizon also uses social media monitoring and engagement as an adjunct to customer service, intervening in customer chats to resolve service issues. Recent example: helping a customer who tweeted about a lost Blackberry.  (Social media monitoring is a topic deserving a separate blog post, so more on this another time.)
• Idea Forum.  An online variation of the suggestion box. Verizon solicits ideas from any & all on new products and better ways to provide service. Pretty cool. (Again, this merits its own blog post, so enough said here for the moment.)

Back to blogs. What’s that make — six and a half distinct blog venues for Verizon, each directed to a defined audience and several augmented by video galore? Not too shabby, in fact, darned good. Maybe even a template others might learn from.

Next –

Verizon and Social Public Relations

Verizon’s mainstream approach to PR has historically delivered strong results, and today they make standard use of Facebook and Twitter to enhance news announcements and promotions. Like many other companies, Verizon is in the early days of social public relations, an area where prominent advancements — new developments with the potential take us all much farther — are still fairly recent.

For the iPhone launch, Verizon might consider tools that do this game-changing event justice — oh heck, let’s say it — that blow the doors off. Several suggestions:

• Media-rich announcements: Not your papa’s press release, but tightly-written one-pagers with embedded links to video and other media.
• Webcast press conference: Webcasting and/or live streaming across multiple “venues”: video, a “webinar-like” presentation (for those that like that sort of thing — not dominating the screen but reduced and off to one side), links to Facebook and Twitter, and the ability to question the presenter online or join in group chat — all on a single screen. Solutions by Livestream.com and/or ON24.com could be adapted to this purpose.
• Going After Today’s Social Media Influencers. Broadening media target goals to include Mashable, Techcrunch and Engadget, to name just a few kingpins in tech social media. Verizon already pops up here to an extent — they have an opportunity to do so regularly.

In sum, Verizon might want to consider reaching out to potential iPhone customers where they live. Hint: It’s not in the pages of Fortune, but in the blogosphere, which come January 2011 will open the gates to 4G speed wherever Verizon iPhones are sold.

A quick look at Pac-West’s web site illustrates how well the company understands the value of plain communications. Whether you’re a carrier, VoIP provider, cable operator, voice application service provider, international provider or an ISP, you can quickly and easily find the service package applicable to your niche.

No hype. No high-falutin’ tech jargon. Beyond commonly used, readily understandable industry terms such as “call origination” or “call termination,” EngineerSpeak is entirely absent. Products and solutions are always described in simple English.

In Pac-West’s case, simplicity of language stems from the core business itself.  The whole point of what Pac-West does is to make things easy, shouldering the responsibility of network management for other service providers.

Disclosure: We don’t work for Pac-West and don’t know a soul there. We just find them refreshing. It’s the model of how to do business in the telecom arena — and how to talk about it.

One of those out-of-work, homeless fellows one encounters in growing numbers came and sat down beside me. Figuring I was in for the usual tale of woe followed by some pan handling, I cut to the chase and following my custom said simply:

“If you’re hungry I’ll buy you lunch.”

John, for that was his name, looked a little shocked.

“No, I don’t want you to buy me anything.  I don’t beg.”

Now I was surprised. “So what do you want?”

John laughed.  “Just to talk,” he said.  So I let him.

What John told me was a variant of a tale we’ve all heard a thousand times. Fell ill and could never work again. Had no disability insurance or other income. Wife left. Lost his house. Now wanders the streets and sleeps in parks or on people’s front porches. Having camped my fair share, I thought John looked remarkably tidy for a man who lived outdoors.  But the most remarkable aspect: Despite his troubles, I detected not a trace of self-pity or loss. Whether through fate, intention or some mix thereof, John had cut his life needs to the bone, stripping away all non-essentials and even what most of us would consider the absolute bare minimum requirements. For all that, he seemed happy and at peace. Everything he really needed, he had.

The irony: Meeting John at the gates of a fair where people willingly threw away their hard-earned cash on the completely frivolous and useless.

“I’m buying you lunch anyway,” I told him. “Consider it payment for an invaluable life lesson.”

Back at work the next day, I cut client reports in half, eliminated 5 out of 6 pointless meetings from my schedule, condensed a two-page client messaging Powerpoint to a single supercharged sentence — then threw away the Powerpoint format — and talked another client out of issuing a press release that, to me, held no news whatsoever. In sum, if a thing had no value, I threw it away immediately.

What “painted rocks” clutter your work day, and if you eliminated one or all, how much more streamlined and productive might you be?

It’s about mass market trends, our willing gullibility, and then blogs.

The lone dweeb strolling along Pennsylvania Avenue blabbing into his cell phone. . .that was around 1992. At the time there were 13 million cell phones total in the U.S. (Go look it up yourself — I had a long night.) He was the wave of the future, of course. Now every man, woman, child and canary owns a mobile device, maybe two or three. These chattering, thumb-sore, squinty-eyed souls might be mobile but they’re still wired — the invisible umbilicus between mobile handset and brain is every bit as binding as any land line. So they talk, type, play games, watch miniature videos or whatever, just because it’s there and they can’t help themselves. It’s a cheap, legal addiction and those who indulge willingly put this monkey on their backs.

Switching gears. Does any of the above remind you of. . .your blog? What about your corporate blog, or for that matter, the company’s entire approach to social media programs?

There are probably as many blogs now, or more, than even mobile devices. (Look that up, too.) Companies blog and do other social media because it’s expected. For the most part, a canary tweets better and makes more sense. Doesn’t have to be that way, though.

Had a recent chat with social media marketing pro Kate Schackai at Design Plymouth, which helps Northeast businesses get up, running and stay on track with social media marketing. A few (but not all) pointers she offered so that your blog works for you and not vice versa:

1. Have a plan. Your blog should be a Google magnet, a hub of dynamic content for current readers, and provide a wealth of accessible information for potential clients.
2. Know your “key words.” Do key word research (better yet, have it done by an expert) so that key words appearing in social media fit your company and audience.
3. Optimize content. Plug those key phrases into the blog to attract the right eyeballs to your site.
4. Be Anti-Copernican. Use the blog as the center of content releases — articles, videos and podcasts. The sun and planets should revolve around your web site.
5. Easy content navigation. Use high-level titles and pick tags that capture important niche concepts. Avoid date-based archives (who knows, cares or wants to scroll through what you posted last September?), and get rid of any duplicate categories or tags.
6. Use integrated applications to push blog content to social media platforms.  NetworkedBlogs, TwitterFeed, Feedburner, Aweber, etc.

Hm. Just realized I’m neglecting or have violated at least half this list of rules. What an idiot. Better have Kate fix it, but meantime I see the dog left his bluetooth on the kitchen counter and it’s ringing like mad. That “Lassie, Come Home” ring tone really gets up my nose.

“Rover, c’mere, dammit!”

To backtrack. . .Earlier this week Virgin’s posting on its flat rate plan went live on Facebook a day or so ahead of the planned press release. Gleeful reporters were immediately all over the story, many noting the social media post that gave the news away. The company’s explanation for the apparent gaffe might be paraphrased, “hey, we goofed.” Well, maybe that’s so. On the other hand, as one of the savviest social media operators on the planet, Virgin may have known exactly what it was doing when that Facebook post popped ahead of schedule.

Calculated leaks and advances are time-honored ways of generating press coverage. Who among us in the PR profession hasn’t dabbled with both somewhere along the line?  With Facebook and Twitter to spread the word, the impact can be immediate and massive.  Net net, by the time Virgin’s release came out, it was virtually an afterthought — the story had already been widely covered in national and trade press. Makes me wonder: Is this a sign of things to come?

The possibility that we’re witnessing the imminent demise of the press release will impact several groups: (1) companies that still look to official announcements as the primary vehicle for news dissemination; (2) wire service companies that make a good living zipping announcements over the Internet; and (3) tracking services that monitor and report on press release postings and coverage.

As more companies like Virgin experiment with new ways to “get the story out,” consider what may follow:

1. Companies may begin to question their commitment to a news vehicle that, for the most part, ends up in the media dumping zone — those daily feeds of verbatim press release postings that scroll by on a news site home page and are quickly forgotten.
2. Wire service distribution services that charge to push announcements to search engines may face increasing pressure from social media outlets that deliver the same or better impact for free.
3. Lastly, given that the vast majority of what they track is just verbatim press release postings — and most of these are available at no cost via Google news — newsclip services could suffer declining popularity.

If any of the above comes to pass, maybe the traditional infrastructure for news distribution will become as quaint as reading hard copy newspapers and magazines. Time will tell, and I have a feeling it’s closing in fast.

Blabbing: Social media’s version of People magazine, i.e., gossips.

Blaggards: Slow writers.

Bleepers: Bloggers that consistently use offensive language.

Blegging: To blog when you’re dying for attention.

Bloafers: Lazy bloggers who can’t start or finish a blog.

Blonkers: Blogs by crazy people that make no sense whatsoever.

Bloopers: Unintentionally funny bloggers.

Blooting: Stealing ideas from others’ blogs.

Bloozers: Anyone in a 12-step program who blogs about it.

That’s just a start.  As sure as I “blurt” for a living, more will come.

Always announce your presence — plant that flag!

Tell industry analysts and journalists you’re open for business and poised to turn competitors’ worlds upside down.

Emphasize what’s unique about your company — the differentiators that make your product or service unbeatable.

Prove it by pointing to big-name customers already on board.

Create a home page blog, Facebook page and twitter presence and fill them with fresh content at every opportunity — daily, if possible.

Provide a comment section on your blog so customers can join in.

Turn up the volume.

Otherwise, why launch at all? When PR is on mute, who can see or hear you?

When you do something for nothing or for little, you create the expectation that it will always be so.  Witness the media that launched their online editions at no charge and now are struggling to convince the public to pay.

It’s revealing that no Freeconomics proponent works for zilch.  They’re too busy raking in big bucks via speaking gigs and best-selling books that talk others into working pro bono.  Of course, it’s not really free work they espouse, but rather, deferred gratification got at by indirection.  The theory: Give away what you produce and you’ll gain trust and a following, which will lead to future reward.  It’s like prayer and redemption bundled into one, but in this case the sin committed is against your business.

Maybe I’m all wet on the topic of companies providing products and services for free.  But history indicates I may be right when it comes to content.

NEWS FLASH — Shakespeare was paid handsomely for his work, and cashed in as a shareholder of  The Globe, where his plays were performed.  Lord Byron may have eschewed gold sovereigns, as nobles sometimes do, but he profited hugely from his work.  In a single day Byron’s Don Juan sold more copies than did early freeconomist William Wordsworth’s Lyrical Ballads — in a lifetime.